Paperback Writer

   Another thing I find interesting here is the Melbourne paper, The Age, is a little more "folksy" in its writing style. I don't know what the proper term is, but there's writing you just wouldn't find in the more straight-laced LA Times. I found this story hilarious, so thought I'd share it with you.
   The story is about Judy Moran, the matriarch of a criminal family in Melbourne. She's got quite past. Among other things, both her husbands and two sons were murdered. She was just sentenced for the murder of her brother-in-law. This story about the sentencing appeared in The Age on Wednesday. Here are two of my favourite, er, favorite, tidbits
   In a piece of spectacular bad acting, Judy turned up at the murder scene, stamping her feet and crying: "It should have been me, not Des." Witness statements indicated she was unlikely to win a Logie and it was soon apparent that as an actor she made Warwick Capper look like Lord Olivier.


Note: Logies are the Australian Emmys, Warwick Capper was a flamboyant footy player.


Later in the article:


   Then there is Nuts [Alexi's note: Geoff "Nuts" Armour was the hitman hired by Judy]. He pleaded guilty but chose not to give evidence against Judy. This means he will get a sentence discount for avoiding a lengthy and costly trial but did not become a prosecution witness and therefore avoided breaking any underworld codes.

   But then Armour managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in a plea hearing that lived up to his nickname.

His version of events was that he went there to scare Des into agreeing to reintroduce regular payments to Judy.

As an underworld negotiator Nuts appeared to be a tad excitable as he chose to fire seven shots without bothering to say a word to his victim.

   No wonder the measured Justice Lasry simply responded that this version of events was "at odds" with the evidence. This is judge-speak for ''you are a lying loon bag''.

   Sadly Armour's explanation confirmed what many have long thought: that Nuts has fallen so far behind the parade he can no longer hear the band.

In other news, Melbourne (and all of Australia actually) are going crazy for Cadel Evans, the Aussie who won the Tour de France. Melbourne hosted a major "Cadelabration" on Friday in the city. Free valet parking for bicycles was provided. Alas, we weren't able to attend the festivites. Andy had to work, the girls were in school, and Alexi hit the Southern Melbourne Market looking for deals with fellow ex-pats Mary and Tierney.