Poker Face

   Andy here again, for another in my rare series of posts.  This one deals with poker. 

   So once a month, a bunch of the dads from the local school get together for a poker night.  These nights are a lot like the moms’ bunco nights, but surely with more beer, dirty jokes, beer, good-natured put-downs, beer, chips, beer, and bodily noises.  I’m pretty sure that’s why there’s never been a co-ed game of poker in the history of the world. 

   In any case, this past Wednesday was poker night, ostensibly starting at 8:30, but not really underway until well after nine.  Dave, the local Pom cosmetic surgeon, won the first five hands, and was incorrigible until we managed to beat him back down until his pile of chips was barely visible.  There were several great hands throughout, including poor Chris, who TWICE lost his king-high flushes to Neerim and Dave who were holding the ace.  My proudest moment was completely bluffing Dave out of a club flush.  Four clubs showing after the river card, and I had nothin’.  Dave had a six of clubs which was easily enough to win it, but I bet high and hard, and he folded!  Sweet!

   The best part of poker night, though, came on Friday night, two days later, when I asked Alanna and Aliya if they wanted to play some Texas Hold ‘Em.  My offer to teach them how to gamble was way better than the offer of a movie night with “Escape From Witch Mountain,” and we grabbed a deck of cards and the bowl of coins.  I pulled out all a handful of 10, 20 and 50 cent pieces and gave everybody 5 dollars to start.

   The girls quickly asked if they could keep whatever they were holding at the end of the game.  Pretty clever little imps, these girls.  But, sure, why not?  I was sure I’d be able to clean ‘em out.

   The first thing I had to teach them was the order of hands, from one pair on up to a royal flush.  They generally understood from having played Yahtzee which has the 3-of-a-kind, 4-of-a-kind, full house, etc. 

   The second thing I had to teach them was the poker face.  After dealing Aliya a pair of kings in the first hand, it was clear from her gigantic smile and bouncing that she had a bit to learn about being cool under pressure.  Aliya won that hand.  Later Alanna demonstrated her poker face with a shriek and lap around the table while holding an ace and king of spades.  Unfortunately she lost that hand to Aliya’s pair of twos when the flop, turn and river were all garbage.  But the ultimate poker face came from Aliya, after the shared cards came up with a pair of queens and a pair of threes.  Aliya was holding a queen, and sitting on a full house, and could barely contain her excitement as she went All In!  Well, I couldn’t just fold, so I went in with her and she nearly emptied my bank.

   Now the girls are eager for me to host a poker night so they can sit in and play with the dads.  But with the aforementioned beer, language, etc., it probably would not be a great idea.